The long road I've traveled

I find myself looking back sometimes, not to dwell on my past but to see how far I've come. I haven't always been the best person, Christian, father, etc., etc. Too many times I have did what the world wants me to do and not what GOD wanted me to do. I have known all my life that I should make the right decisions based on my faith, its difficult. Life comes at you fast and doesn't always give you chances to step back and ask "is this right?". You make a choice and you sometimes suffer the consequences quickly or a lifetime. Knowing what I know now makes me wonder if I would change things, or leave them the same. I know without a shadow of a  doubt some would stay the same, that's just a gimme! Some decisions cause you to move away from GOD, and that could be the worst thing to do. I have had a time in my life where I moved away from but never truly left. Those that do or choose not believe baffle me. I cant imagine the emptiness that's felt, but that's their choice. I can only pray for them.

Failed relationships and marriages have made me a stronger person. When I say relationships I mean with friends too. I had a friendship for most of my life fall apart because of bad decisions. I cant change it, and I wish I could and pray about it a lot. Failed marriages due to bad decisions also, on both sides. I don't bring myself down with the failures, yet lift myself up! I have strived to the past several years to be a vessel for GOD and let him live thru me. It always seemed like something was missing. Then my life was changed for good. Velvet came into my life and completed the puzzle. Adding the last piece to it. But It didn't come easy. I tried pushing her away. We spent a couple of months dating, then I walked away for a while. She respected my decisions, and let me go. I tried my hardest to "not care", but I did.

So once I realized I did care I was afraid it was too late. Luckily it wasn't, she and I started seeing each other again. This time it was different, it was more about a friendship and less like a relationship. We spent time together but acted like buddies, not boyfriend/girlfriend. We never referred to each other as anything other then "best friend". Everyone around said we was together but was in denial about it. One night I finally realized she was the one when someone else showed interest in her. I can remember getting furious about it. When Velvet asked why, that's when I told how I "really" felt. Once we was official I felt better. No longer fighting my feelings.

It didn't take me long to realize I wanted her as my wife. I planned it all out (story is on my youtube channel) and made her my wife. No our marriage isn't perfect, and will never be. We just try to be a strong Christian couple and parents, that's all that matters now. Tomorrow always brings a challenge, but when you have a partner you can depend on makes it better! There is so much more to me, right, wrong or indifferent, She loves me like Jesus does. The long road I have traveled is far from over, but it wont be traveled alone!